the things that tug at my heart the most. Amara and William.
Anonymous asked: How do u travel so often while still be able to afford to rent a place in newyork? thats so lucky
I BARELY AFFORD IT … I AM DROWNING :’(
I JUST WANT TO MAKE PEOPLE FEEL THINGS. I WANT TO KEEP OUTDOING MYSELF. I WILL. I WILL. I WILL. I WILL. KEEP LEARNING, EMMA … KEEP LEARNING AND DON’T STOP.
this reminds me of something I would have made back when I knew that, no other eyes would see it. all young/angsty, unfiltered feelings with no safety gates. I have so many words for this one, for this character, for this girl, but i’ll leave it simple … no one else in the entire universe moves like her.
Anonymous asked: what you up to now, emma?
Well, I am starting a company (www.facebook.com/flockdance). Planning a small tour for that - to Ottawa, Toronto, London England, and possibly some other locations during the next 6 months. I am also in the midst of creating a book to publish in collaboration with photographer David Kim (https://www.facebook.com/pages/Han-Kyung-Photography/230635526952521) and poet, Shinji Moon (http://shinji-moon.tumblr.com/) hopefully that will be up for purchase within the next 6 months, as well. When I am in the city, I answer messages/e-mails, take dance classes or do yoga everyday. I’ll take pictures of myself, take my girlfriend on adventures, or teach at BDC when I can. Every day is different in New York because I have no major ties. My favorite thing to do is pretend I go to Juilliard when I go in to make stuff with the boys (Blake, Jer, Jeff, Alex). Although, I do want to try to get into some company work in the city soon, when I am not so all over (which I believe will be … never). I travel a lot, almost every weekend (plus some) I am writing this in florida right now because I am here to judge a competition. Doing my last city of the season with intrigue, in two weekends. I can’t teach at nationals because I got into rubberbanddance’s summer program and the dates conflict. I chose the program over nationals because we always need to do things for our own personal growth in order to keep on helping others in the growing process.
Basically what I am doing now is trying to be happy and trying to break boundaries. Trying to find the balance. Between commercial dance/concert dance, between money/pleasure, between being a dancer/being a teacher or choreographer. it’s hard sometimes … travelling is exhausting and it makes it hard to have permanent friends. But I do have a few, and I care about them a lot. Life is good right now but I feel pressure and anxiety 24/7.
That is all.
if I get threatened to be robbed, or touched without consent … one more fuckin time …
literally going to start a kick-starter to fund therapy sessions instead of my artistic endeavours.
Anonymous asked: Thoughts on Ben Howard
my second favorite musician of all time (sometimes my first, it switches often) wish he would send me private recordings. one time his facebook page “liked” Matt and I’s video - I like to tell myself it was him that pressed the button.
Ben for president!
so anxious. so much to do. need more money to fund my life/projects/people/tummy/rent/transpo/dreams/brain/everthing. need to be better at replying to things. ahhhh i’ll try life again in the morning.
I’m one to emotionally blurb about twice a year so, here we go with #2. I used to get made fun of when I was younger for a lot of things. Birthday’s forgotten about, too skinny, didn’t talk enough, vomited during class presentations, danced too strange, dressed like a boy and then when I would act like a girl, i’d get made fun of more. Once I got out of grade school … I made it a real goal, to someday make this speech that I’m typing out to you now. The one that says I’m going to wear boys clothes if I want. Dance with a girl, if I want (a girl who can actually hold my body weight on one leg, lift me over her head, and dance with me like all the fairy-tale girls get danced with). The one that says “shit really happens” but you’ve got to see the dam breaking in order to appreciate the leaky faucet. The one that explains warrior stripes under our eyes to represent the different mini-war’s we all fought to get to this point. Took me 19 years to speak it here but, 19 is better than 100 and I am so happy. A big factor of my wanting to start Flock’dance, was so that, by publicly being who we want to be - through our art … little by little we make the platform for acceptance, into less of a platform and more of a solid ground for everyone to stand on. To try and turn our concrete pushes, our fires, our heartbreaks, our imbalances, and our losses into something much more beautiful. To reach out with my own two hands, and try to help others realize what I have realized. I know I’m not the first to speak of this topic but I want to try and be the last that feels the need to promote and maybe to even introduce, self-acceptance. My “art” reaches further than my words and I never want to stop reaching.
The boy speaking in this video, also completely changed me. His name is Lucas Regazzi (1000scientists.com) and his words have been the back bone that I flesh around when I want to stop stepping through my days. This marks our third collaboration together.
So I guess for the first time in a while, here is a little video of Amara Barner and I, holding so much more than dance moves. Thank you for reading/watching.
one of my favorites
thank you for watching. this is the first of three, flock videos to come this month.
be grateful. don’t complain. don’t be rude. try your hardest.